Saturday, May 7, 2011

That Time Again

It's that time of year. The time of year when a lot of the posts on Facebook resemble the ones below:

~ HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY _________!! You are the best mom ever, always giving of yourself for others...I hope that you can enjoy today and let us take care of you! :) Love you soooo so much!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

~If you have an amazing mother, put this as your status!

~ At 3yrs " Mommy I love you."

At 10yrs " Mom, whatever."

At 16yrs " My Mom is so annoying."

At 18yrs " I wanna leave this house."

At 25yrs " Mom you were right."......

At 30yrs " I wanna go to Mom's house."

At 50yrs " I don't want to lose my Mom."

At 70yrs " I would give up everything for my Mom to be here with me."

You only have 1 Mom.Post this to your wall if you appreciate and love your Mom ♥

It's the time of year when my heart hurts a little more inside; when I can't escape the memories, thoughts, and feelings... about her. Emails titled "Get your Mother's Day gifts 50% off" and "Mother's Day is just around the corner!" cause little tears to form in the corners of my eyes... but there's no escaping them. I can't shut myself out from the world for the entire month leading up to the holiday.

My Facebook status would probably be something more like this:

At 3yrs " Mommy I love you."

At 10yrs " Mom, you're everything to me, even though we argue."

At 16yrs " This can't possibly be my last birthday with you..."

At 18yrs " Mom, I wish I could ask you ____________."

At 25yrs " I'm picking out a wedding dress... without you."

At 30yrs " My baby keeps screaming and I don't know what to do... wish I could call you."

At 50yrs" I haven't forgotten... and I still miss you."

At 70yrs " I would give up everything to be with you, just one more day."

And then there's eternity: Together. Forever.

But even though I know that... even though I understand that I will see her again and that our joy will be complete, it still hurts that I can't give her a hug today... that she can't come to my choir concert, or meet all my college friends; that she isn't here for my 21st birthday tomorrow, and that our last conversation was almost four and a half years ago.

I loved her. I love her still.

I also love how God continues to strengthen and uphold my family and I... even in the hardest times; His hand can be clearly seen. My heart does ache that my mom is not here to hold but it only causes me to more fully abide in my Savior, Jesus Christ.

He is my hope...

He is my light, my strength, my song.

This cornerstone.

This solid ground.

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love!

What depths of peace!

When fears are stilled

When strivings cease.

My comforter.

My all in all.

Here in the love of Christ.

I stand.

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