Saturday, May 7, 2011

That Time Again

It's that time of year. The time of year when a lot of the posts on Facebook resemble the ones below:

~ HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY _________!! You are the best mom ever, always giving of yourself for others...I hope that you can enjoy today and let us take care of you! :) Love you soooo so much!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

~If you have an amazing mother, put this as your status!

~ At 3yrs " Mommy I love you."

At 10yrs " Mom, whatever."

At 16yrs " My Mom is so annoying."

At 18yrs " I wanna leave this house."

At 25yrs " Mom you were right."......

At 30yrs " I wanna go to Mom's house."

At 50yrs " I don't want to lose my Mom."

At 70yrs " I would give up everything for my Mom to be here with me."

You only have 1 Mom.Post this to your wall if you appreciate and love your Mom ♥

It's the time of year when my heart hurts a little more inside; when I can't escape the memories, thoughts, and feelings... about her. Emails titled "Get your Mother's Day gifts 50% off" and "Mother's Day is just around the corner!" cause little tears to form in the corners of my eyes... but there's no escaping them. I can't shut myself out from the world for the entire month leading up to the holiday.

My Facebook status would probably be something more like this:

At 3yrs " Mommy I love you."

At 10yrs " Mom, you're everything to me, even though we argue."

At 16yrs " This can't possibly be my last birthday with you..."

At 18yrs " Mom, I wish I could ask you ____________."

At 25yrs " I'm picking out a wedding dress... without you."

At 30yrs " My baby keeps screaming and I don't know what to do... wish I could call you."

At 50yrs" I haven't forgotten... and I still miss you."

At 70yrs " I would give up everything to be with you, just one more day."

And then there's eternity: Together. Forever.

But even though I know that... even though I understand that I will see her again and that our joy will be complete, it still hurts that I can't give her a hug today... that she can't come to my choir concert, or meet all my college friends; that she isn't here for my 21st birthday tomorrow, and that our last conversation was almost four and a half years ago.

I loved her. I love her still.

I also love how God continues to strengthen and uphold my family and I... even in the hardest times; His hand can be clearly seen. My heart does ache that my mom is not here to hold but it only causes me to more fully abide in my Savior, Jesus Christ.

He is my hope...

He is my light, my strength, my song.

This cornerstone.

This solid ground.

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love!

What depths of peace!

When fears are stilled

When strivings cease.

My comforter.

My all in all.

Here in the love of Christ.

I stand.


  1. Sweet Emily...I know your heart is sad today...and I know you are missing your momma. And that's why I am praying for you this morning.

    Tomorrow on your 21st birthday I pray you will be greatly blessed! May those around you shower you with love and affection. And may God wrap His loving arms around you today, tomorrow...and everyday of your life as you walk with Him!

    You are one precious girl...who will legally become an adult tomorrow. But I know that ever since your mom went to be with Jesus you have taken on her role with your siblings...and trying to be there for your dad too.

    Life has continued to go on, and things have changed for all of you over the years...but God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! He will always be your constant, unchanging companion. I know you love Him sweet Emily...and never ever doubt His great love for you!

    You are precious in His sight...the apple of His eye!

    Hugs, prayers,...and Grandma love,

  2. You mom has been on my mind and heart all day today, also you, Jacob and Shauna, of course. I kinda wish I could have come this weekend anyway, just to be there with you. You know me, we could have shed a few tears together! I know your time with your sweet mommy was much too short, but I also think of all that she packed into those years! More than many people do in twice that much time. And some things that others never do, like the movie! How many mom's help their kids do what you guys did? That doesn't help when you are missing her, but you were so very blessed with a wonderful, loving mother whose first thought in the morning and last thought at night was for her children, who she loved more than anything else. Some children never know that kind of love from a mother. When the Dr. told her she had cancer, she got tears in her eyes and said, "It's not that I am afraid to step into the presence of the Lord, I just really don't want to leave my children." I know that her last thought was for you 3 precious ones. She is not with us phycially, but her love lives on, like our souls, love will never die, and if you close your eyes you will feel it still. I am so looking forward to next weekend with you! Know that I love you and will always be there for you with love and support and always lots of prayers. Gramcracker ;-)

  3. Emily, you're beautiful. Absolutely radiant. I know these heights of love, these depths of peace which only come from having our Abba carry us through pain; I don't understand them, but I know they are there. And every time it starts to hurt again, if I look to Him, I remember that there is purpose. There is comfort. There is a song.

    I love you.


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