Remember....

Two years ago, today, I woke up with a mom, and went to bed that night without her. I remember the day so clearly. I am sure that it will be forever etched in my memory. I was talking with my dad last night about it and I remarked how I am still so thankful that my mom didn't have to suffer for years and years. That would have been extra stressful. It was very merciful of God to take her when He did. The weather today is actually quite similar to how it was on that day two years ago. I remember that it was a bright chilly day, just like it is today.

When I look back on the past two years, I am amazed at how far God has brought us. Jesus truly does know our needs before we ask Him. He always watches over us and holds us in the palm of his hands through every storm and trial that we face.

There will always be an ache in my heart for motherly love, but I know that God's love is much greater and sweeter than any human love could possibly give. For when I am weak, then he is strong!

This is a poem I wrote to my mom, a few months after she died. It is nothing eloquent or beautifully worded, but it does convey my heart:

Mommy

Mommy do you know how much I love you?
You were always the one that knew just what to do.

Mommy do you know how special you are to me?
With you, I could be anything that I wanted to be.

Mommy do you know that you’re the best?
A unique piece of artwork, different from the rest.

Mommy do you know how many lives you changed?
The precise times and places, only God could have arranged.

Mommy do you know how beautiful you are?
Compared to a diamond, you are more beautiful by far.

Mommy do you know how many things you taught me?
For instance, who a women of God should be.

Mommy do you know that we wanted you to stay?
With you, my life seemed like a perfect summer day.

Then, all too soon, you were gone from my side.
And I had to accept Jesus as my one and only guide.

Mommy, Its hard to accept that you are no longer here
Yet, I know that you wouldn't want me to live in fear.

It's hard to understand why heavens work couldn't wait another day.
But I know that God must have had a good reason to call you away.

Mommy I will miss you as long as I live
Yet I know that Gods love is sweeter than any I could give.

Mommy I’m so happy that you’re out of pain
You lost an earthly body, but got an eternal gain.

Mommy even though earthly life God did not give,
In my heart you will continue to live.

Jesus is so good to me. I would only be existing, not truly living, if it weren't for what He has done in my life. I will continue to miss my mom for as long as I live, but I know that God's plans for my life are perfect. His timing is perfect. His love is perfect, and it is and will always be, all that I will ever need.